You feel bitter, upset and angry and you know exactly why; somebody said no. Rejection can come in many forms. Maybe you have had a bad experience with a potential love interest, or you didn’t get a job that you really wanted. Maybe you have been rejected from the university you dreamed about attending, or you have been turned down by an application for a loan. It can be as simple as somebody saying no to going to the shop for you or as big as being rejected for a marriage proposal.
At the time these things feel like the worst. They can drag you down, knock your self esteem and make you feel like you’re not good enough. Rejection is difficult, but it is an integral part of being a human. We can’t always get exactly what we want, and everyone must go through it at some point. If you never experienced rejection, you would never learn the lessons that the encounter gives you. You would never develop as a person or strive to achieve things beyond what you thought you could. Although it sounds ridiculous, rejection is crucial in shaping us as people and there are many hidden benefits. When you start to consider these benefits, it can change the ways in which you view rejection and can give you a more positive, stronger outlook on life.
Here are a few ways in which you can use any rejection you experience as a fuel for better things.
1. It can put you on the right track in life
It is painful not getting something you want or something that you think you deserve. However, sometimes an opportunity might have actually been bad for you and would have got in the way of something that you really wanted.
If you have been rejected in your love life, that person wasn’t for you and there is somebody out there that is so much better. If you don’t fit the specifications for a job and you aren’t qualified, then it would be horrible and stressful to do that job and it wouldn’t be right for you. It would also get in the way of you getting your dream job. If somebody tells you “no I won’t go to the shops for you”, perhaps you will have an encounter on your way over that can change you for the good or it will kick start the exercise you need to stay healthy. Rejection can get rid of the things that aren’t positive for your development, leaving room for things that can help you to be happy and grow as a person.
2. It can make you more humble
Can you imagine the sort of person you would be if you were given everything that you ever desired handed to you on a plate? You would be entitled, proud and always wanting more and more. Rejection reminds us all that we’re human, not perfect and not infinitely better than everybody else around us. It also makes us incredibly grateful when are finally accepted and thankful for the opportunity. Sometimes it’s good to be brought down a few pegs to humble us and it can actually make you a kinder and more successful person.
3. It can alter your world view
When we encounter a situation in which we are told “no”, it gives us time to pause and reflect. It can give you time to consider new things, goals and opportunities and realize what is truly important to you. Getting declined from something you thought you wanted like a job or a love interest, can in turn make you realize what it is you actually need and want. It can make us reflect on things within ourselves, provoking you to question why it is you received this rejection and what you can change within yourself to make it less likely to experience it in the future.
4. It can increase your motivation
Sometimes rejection can be the kick you need to push you towards going for what you actually want. This can give you a fresh bout of determination. Although it is incredibly frustrating (and we’ve all experienced it), it can be a sign that we are missing something important within our character, or we aren’t working as hard as we can. When we are told “no” it makes those “yes” moments so much sweeter, and we are motivated towards trying to achieve that wonderful sensation. This motivation can enhance your potential, because you are learning from your mistakes and becoming a stronger, more resilient person. With your newfound confidence and resilience, you are actually less likely to experience rejection as you become more determined to achieve your goals.
5. It can make you stronger
We all need a certain amount of strength to cope with the things that are thrown at us during our lives. Although it is incredibly painful and embarrassing, rejection won’t kill you and as the old saying goes “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. People only develop strength through adversity, and we need this strength to cope with negative situations. This strength can build resourcefulness, creativity and can also aid us in helping others around us. The resilience and patience you need to cope with rejection, strengthens your character and makes you a more well-rounded and kinder individual.
6. It creates resilience
If you have always been told “yes” then experience rejection, you wouldn’t know how to cope at all. You wouldn’t be able to bounce back and continue. Resilience is a skill that takes practice and it means getting back up, dusting yourself off and moving on to the next thing. There’s a satisfaction in working towards something that you know has the potential to fail because it makes any success you receive so much better. Maybe you are a singer who has been rejected at audition after audition. Can you imagine how you would feel if you finally made it onto the big stage? Or maybe you are a writer that is sick of hearing “it’s not what we’re looking for right now”. Can you imagine how you would feel eventually seeing something that you have written in a glossy publication? If you stopped working after the first rejection, you would never reach that final amazing stage. Each act of rejection will change the ways in which you view the world and yourself, and by the time you finally succeed it will be so worth it.
Everything happens for a reason and we all know the amazing feeling you receive when you finally achieve acceptance. Every “no” you are given will make each “yes” just that little bit sweeter. By adopting these thinking habits into your behavior, you can change the ways in which you react to rejection and transform your ability to bounce back after you are told no. It’s a difficult but necessary part of life, and something that you are definitely strong enough to encounter, overcome and learn from. Thank you for reading and we hope you have a wonderful day.